THE REVERSE SIDE OF BEAUTY.

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Welcome to my world~~(of nonsensible thoughts)~~.

HI. I DECIDED TO COME BACK! LOL.

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Sunday, May 24, 2009

..you cannot even hear me

current mood:

- Depressed
listening to: Arashi - Believe (´3｀)～♪

I dont know why I included this picture on this entry, err.. maybe because they're too awesome and Im still amused how they managed to make themselves look even more lovely than any Japanese girls. xD

KOIBITO? Hahaahahaa!! Shou seriously looks like a nice and innocent girl here trying to persuade whoever took this picture. xDD And dont you just love Saga's hair? I actually planned to copy one of his hairstyles but Im too coward to chop my hair shorter. And since he's a famous rockstar, he can ask anyone to take good care of his hair for him. While I have to bother myself getting nice self-hair-regimens just to make mine look atleast fine.

Anyway, Im still down right now that Junjou Romantica's adaptation on anime was too short while I still cant get over each couple's romance, especially Mizaki and Akihiko's. But yeah, it cant be helped that there's no Season 3 yet. I guess, Ill just have to look for a manga of it to atleast satisfy my cravings. Still, I have to divert my overpowering hormones to another worth-fangirling/squealing jdrama/anime. I just started Mei-chan no Shitsujibut since the internet connection's being an ass on me, I cant move on to next episode. >_>

On the other hand, I finally made it err.. yesterday? to wake up as early as 5AM! LOL. Though I am soo hyped when I arrived early at school, I already felt soo sleepy after the 15mins. break, around 10:30AM. Reading and answering test papers never fails me to fall asleep. No matter how I tried not to rest my head on my desk, still FAILLL. *o*

And I hate how mom and grandma keeps on complaining when Im asking for my daily allowance whenever I go to school. They'd be like.. "why dont you just stay home and mop the floors?!" and thats when Ill rant and rage. Seriously, how can they interfere with my eagerness to learn? Damn. Im not getting any moral support here, atleast. I dont want to blame them but Im this fucking skinny because I tend to just save the penny Ill spend for food. Even my personal/hygienic needs, I provide them myself from my savings(not the bank account type of savings, just the normal cash left on your purse savings). And Im very pissed when I showed them my actual graduation picture where Im holding my supposed-to-be diploma but they simply just ignored me.

I know, this is very tiring, but DAMN IT!
Why do I have to be like this?
Its like every inch of me inside was ripped and stabbed senselessly. Im jealous of those people who can get what they want whenever they wanted.

THIS IS JUST ANOTHER RANT THAT IM SERIOUSLY TRYING TO AVOID BUT I CANT HELP BUT POUR IT OUT IN HERE. There's no one to talk to and this shit is the only thing who can never complain whatever I rant about. Watching jdramas/movies/animes are my way of escaping from whatthehell Im feeling. Maybe the reason why I get soo addicted and touched with those Ive seen, especially when one story ends, Id get depressed and frustrated. Frustation of having someone that can totally protect me from every single shit that could hurt me and provide beyond happiness feeling.. which is practically.. IMPOSSIBLE.

agh. dream on, bitch.

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