Saturday, January 3, 2009
..if your heart's not in it
current mood:
- Gloomy
School's back to attack again. >_<
And Ill be in deepshit yet again.. Exams and depressing paperworks and memorization, Im not really sure what else worse awaits for me. I seriously cant concentrate. UGH! Im soo fucked up and this lazy ass of mine wont leave me, for freaking real!! Why cant I do something right? I know, I shouldnt be ranting and complaining right now but I SERIOUSLY NEED HELP! If it requires me to have a psycho therapy just to have a better and smooth life, I would do it.
But unfotunately, I cant get that help for now. And you have to believe me that I still have my sanity. Personality disorders are just pretty abandunt to almost everybody. You cant tell me you're perfectly fine because I knew theres something wrong with you and your mind.
I am stupid and lazy and slow and pessimist and I have rapid mood swings.
Those are the things I basically want to get rid of me.
I want to be differently good.
And if I cant afford to get myself a therapy, then Ill just study and might take Psychology for my masterals. Though as much as I would love to burn down every school, I still want to learn and take new courses. I want to take Culinary, Dressmaking, IT and Psychology. Of course Im aware of how much time and cash it requires but the heck! I swear, Ill take either any of those once I graduated from this wicked Nursing and get myself a good job. Marriage can wait anyway.. and I promised myself to enjoy being single before settling down.
Me at the peak of Tagatay, overlooking the
Taal Lake and Volcanoes. :)
[err.. sorry, if you cant see the view behind me]
Life still goes on and I have to live with it.